All you Nazarenes out there need to check this out.
Here's an article I just came across at Youth Specialties talking a lot about what I call the Bait and Switch in my previous post. Here
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Bait and Switch
This is the second post for me today, but I wanted to address a concept that I have been writing and talking about for some time now and it has come up in a recent discussion that I'm having with some friends. I thought that the rest of you might want to hear this as well.
Over the past 17 years of being involved in youth ministry (yeah, I'm old) I have watched, literally hundreds of teenagers graduate from the ministries that I have been involved with. It is from this experience and from watching many fellow youth leaders and their groups that I am writing this from. It's the concept that many children and youth are presented the Gospel of Christ one way then when they get to a certain age that experience or understanding of God/Christ seems to be no longer valid. I will specifically speak from the youth pastor's position to help clarify myself here. As a youth leader, we would offer a fun place for teenagers to come, hang out, participate in activities, hear the Gospel and have opportunites to follow Christ. We would have outings (bowling, canoeing, miniature golf, etc.) we would have games, ie. Wednesday nights, we would participate in summer camps, weekend retreats, and mission trips. It was in this "ministry" that many teenagers came to a better understanding of who God is and what He expects from us as people. There were great strides made in their journeys toward God. They lived, experienced and understood God in a specific way that was very much tied to how they had come to Him.
Then it happens, they graduate. They head off to school, work or whatever and they begin trying to intergrate themselves into "adult" church and it is nothing like what they know God to be. While they were in the youth group they would worship with the adults during Sunday mornings, but received most of their spiritual food from the youth groups time of worship, lessons, etc. Thus, now that rug has been pulled from their feet and they are left with only what the adult church offers for spiritual growth. The problem is that the adult church is often void of many of the things that drew them to Christ in the first place. It often lacks excitement, fun, music they grew up on, camps, mission trips, miniature golf and a slew of other things. Their options now are much more limited in that they can join a small group discussion, go to Wednesday night prayer service, or stay for a potluck on some Sunday afternoon. They soon discover that what they thought God life was, fun, exciting, life relevant, deep, connecting, etc. is not the god life that many of the adults are living. Instead he's dull, boring and something they do once or twice a week. The result is obvious and well documented that a vast majority of these teenagers/young adults leave the church and never return, or if they do return it's because they now have children and want them in church to enjoy some of the same things they enjoyed when they were young, or they are looking for a safe place for them to grow up. In any case, the now young adult/parent is now stuck in a pew living out the life that he/she left the church for in the first place.
Now, some obvious questions: 1)Am I advocating that church ministries such as the children's and youth, should not entertain in order to bring them into the church?
No! In fact, I'm advocating almost the opposite. Not only should the children's and youth ministries entertain to draw people, but so should the adult ministries of the church. They should create opportunities for the parents and the kids to be involved in. It should be exciting, it should be fun, it should be something that they would not even have to think about telling a friend about. Rather it should be, "hey, we're doing something this week and you ought to join us", or "let me tell you about what we did this weekend".
2) Am I saying we should not do summer camps, retreats, mission projects, small group discipleship etc.? No! Instead we ought to be offering the same things to the adults that are more "user-friendly" to who they are. (parents, workers, coaches etc). In all the years of my professional ministry the only adult mission trips offered were ones that went over seas (including Hawii) and cost thousands of dollars and were not designed for them to bring their kids if they wanted to or had any. I've only seen two retreats one for a church board (not their spouses or kids) and the other was for only the women in the church. I've seen the senior adults and the singles do a few outings in their groups respectively. Other than that, mostly I've seen the church's main thrust for fellowship was some sort of dinner (potluck) after church.
3) Am I saying that "adult" church should change their style of worship to entertain those in attendance? No, but what I am saying is that "adult" church would look different if it included those of younger generations in the decision processes and implementaion of worship experiences in those services. In doing so, the children and youth would then have a better "transition" into adult church since it would resemble more of who they already are. In reality, they wouldn't even have to transition since they would already be a part of it.
4) Am I advocating experience over history, tradition, ritual or even discipleship? No, instead those things should be embraced and, dare I say it, experienced. Instead of routine or monotony there should be awe, wonder, excitement, intrigue and desire for more of what God wants for us in and through those instruments.
So, what do we do with this? Over these years, I would simply estimate (guestimate) that about 30% of those involved in my ministry or involved in ministries that I know of, stayed active in church life after their graduation. Who's to blame? I believe a part of it is me, part of it them, part of it their family and part of it the church. Could I have done a better job leading them and discipling them ? I'm certain of it. But, what would that have looked like if the whole local church structure would have lent itself to a more "family-friendly" discipleship experience? If the churches would have active ministries for all that were designed to enhance and include the family throughout their spiritual life growth process then their transition into adulthood and it's spiritual practices and experiences would be more of a maturing process than a total lifestyle change. My suggestion would be that as we find creative ways to reach out to the youth/children of our communities that we also find creative ways to reach their family units as well. It's been well documented that the likelihood of a person in pursuing their faith into and beyond their teenage years is directly related to the amount of spiritual involvement their parents have. I believe it's our responsibility to attempt to try and recapture our historical roots of making our faith communities truly communities again where individuals are valued as integral parts of the body of Christ rather than segmented individuals.
Well, that's enough for now. I'm sure I've created a ton more questions than what I answered, but it's a good start.
Over the past 17 years of being involved in youth ministry (yeah, I'm old) I have watched, literally hundreds of teenagers graduate from the ministries that I have been involved with. It is from this experience and from watching many fellow youth leaders and their groups that I am writing this from. It's the concept that many children and youth are presented the Gospel of Christ one way then when they get to a certain age that experience or understanding of God/Christ seems to be no longer valid. I will specifically speak from the youth pastor's position to help clarify myself here. As a youth leader, we would offer a fun place for teenagers to come, hang out, participate in activities, hear the Gospel and have opportunites to follow Christ. We would have outings (bowling, canoeing, miniature golf, etc.) we would have games, ie. Wednesday nights, we would participate in summer camps, weekend retreats, and mission trips. It was in this "ministry" that many teenagers came to a better understanding of who God is and what He expects from us as people. There were great strides made in their journeys toward God. They lived, experienced and understood God in a specific way that was very much tied to how they had come to Him.
Then it happens, they graduate. They head off to school, work or whatever and they begin trying to intergrate themselves into "adult" church and it is nothing like what they know God to be. While they were in the youth group they would worship with the adults during Sunday mornings, but received most of their spiritual food from the youth groups time of worship, lessons, etc. Thus, now that rug has been pulled from their feet and they are left with only what the adult church offers for spiritual growth. The problem is that the adult church is often void of many of the things that drew them to Christ in the first place. It often lacks excitement, fun, music they grew up on, camps, mission trips, miniature golf and a slew of other things. Their options now are much more limited in that they can join a small group discussion, go to Wednesday night prayer service, or stay for a potluck on some Sunday afternoon. They soon discover that what they thought God life was, fun, exciting, life relevant, deep, connecting, etc. is not the god life that many of the adults are living. Instead he's dull, boring and something they do once or twice a week. The result is obvious and well documented that a vast majority of these teenagers/young adults leave the church and never return, or if they do return it's because they now have children and want them in church to enjoy some of the same things they enjoyed when they were young, or they are looking for a safe place for them to grow up. In any case, the now young adult/parent is now stuck in a pew living out the life that he/she left the church for in the first place.
Now, some obvious questions: 1)Am I advocating that church ministries such as the children's and youth, should not entertain in order to bring them into the church?
No! In fact, I'm advocating almost the opposite. Not only should the children's and youth ministries entertain to draw people, but so should the adult ministries of the church. They should create opportunities for the parents and the kids to be involved in. It should be exciting, it should be fun, it should be something that they would not even have to think about telling a friend about. Rather it should be, "hey, we're doing something this week and you ought to join us", or "let me tell you about what we did this weekend".
2) Am I saying we should not do summer camps, retreats, mission projects, small group discipleship etc.? No! Instead we ought to be offering the same things to the adults that are more "user-friendly" to who they are. (parents, workers, coaches etc). In all the years of my professional ministry the only adult mission trips offered were ones that went over seas (including Hawii) and cost thousands of dollars and were not designed for them to bring their kids if they wanted to or had any. I've only seen two retreats one for a church board (not their spouses or kids) and the other was for only the women in the church. I've seen the senior adults and the singles do a few outings in their groups respectively. Other than that, mostly I've seen the church's main thrust for fellowship was some sort of dinner (potluck) after church.
3) Am I saying that "adult" church should change their style of worship to entertain those in attendance? No, but what I am saying is that "adult" church would look different if it included those of younger generations in the decision processes and implementaion of worship experiences in those services. In doing so, the children and youth would then have a better "transition" into adult church since it would resemble more of who they already are. In reality, they wouldn't even have to transition since they would already be a part of it.
4) Am I advocating experience over history, tradition, ritual or even discipleship? No, instead those things should be embraced and, dare I say it, experienced. Instead of routine or monotony there should be awe, wonder, excitement, intrigue and desire for more of what God wants for us in and through those instruments.
So, what do we do with this? Over these years, I would simply estimate (guestimate) that about 30% of those involved in my ministry or involved in ministries that I know of, stayed active in church life after their graduation. Who's to blame? I believe a part of it is me, part of it them, part of it their family and part of it the church. Could I have done a better job leading them and discipling them ? I'm certain of it. But, what would that have looked like if the whole local church structure would have lent itself to a more "family-friendly" discipleship experience? If the churches would have active ministries for all that were designed to enhance and include the family throughout their spiritual life growth process then their transition into adulthood and it's spiritual practices and experiences would be more of a maturing process than a total lifestyle change. My suggestion would be that as we find creative ways to reach out to the youth/children of our communities that we also find creative ways to reach their family units as well. It's been well documented that the likelihood of a person in pursuing their faith into and beyond their teenage years is directly related to the amount of spiritual involvement their parents have. I believe it's our responsibility to attempt to try and recapture our historical roots of making our faith communities truly communities again where individuals are valued as integral parts of the body of Christ rather than segmented individuals.
Well, that's enough for now. I'm sure I've created a ton more questions than what I answered, but it's a good start.
OUR CHOICE
I had a call on Tuesday night from one of my former teenagers from my group here in Defiance. He put me on speaker phone so that a friend he was talking to could ask me a questiont hat the two of them were trying to figure out. Here's the question, "If heaven is perfect, then how did Satan get kicked out for messing up?" It caught me off guard a little at first because I had never been asked that question before, but gave this answer. A perfect heaven does not mean that we are without choices, instead it may mean that we do have choices. This is just like it is on earth, the perfection that we are called to has a direct corralation to the choices that we make. If the freedom we have to make choices were to be removed from us then we would not be able to love perfectly. Computers can't love, Robots can't love and neither can people who can't choose not to.
It's definitely a difficult position that God put himself into. He created a people who have the choice to love him or not and many times we choose not to. He seems to have set himself up for disappointment. On the other hand though, he set himself up to receive love since many people choose that option as well. I think that the payoff is great for him. I can relate to that. At times in my life there has been people who have chosen not to like me, let alone love me yet that was/is outweighed so much by those who have chosen to love me. I am extremely greatful that we have a God that allows us to choose him and choose to love him. It's often those things in life that I didn't choose that I tend to have the hardest time living with.
It's definitely a difficult position that God put himself into. He created a people who have the choice to love him or not and many times we choose not to. He seems to have set himself up for disappointment. On the other hand though, he set himself up to receive love since many people choose that option as well. I think that the payoff is great for him. I can relate to that. At times in my life there has been people who have chosen not to like me, let alone love me yet that was/is outweighed so much by those who have chosen to love me. I am extremely greatful that we have a God that allows us to choose him and choose to love him. It's often those things in life that I didn't choose that I tend to have the hardest time living with.
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