Thursday, May 17, 2007
Late Night Ramblings
Here's the struggle...One has the desire to serve the Lord with all of who he is, but is consistently discovering that he has no idea of what the Lord wants. It's as if time stands still, yet at the same time it feels like it's just slipping away. How do I "figure out" what it is that God wants for my life and from it? I guess here's the problem. I'm 37 years old and feel like I'm still trying to figure out what I'm gonna do when I grow up. To some 37 is old (including me at times) but then I realize that if I were to retire at the age of 65 that that is still 28 years from now. My dad retired from his job after 27 years. On the other hand I feel like I'm just floating in the midst of life and "career" searching for the next "career". It's a strange place to be. Fortunately for me, but maybe not for some, there are others who are in this same boat with me. We've come to a new place in our lives that demonstrates that God is doing a new thing in our society. The way that we've always done ministry and church is no longer valid, (though at times I wonder if it ever was) and I'm wondering or wandering while trying to figure out where in this new thing I belong. The truth is I'm scared... I'm scared to do this alone. I'm scared that the dreams, hopes and desires I have had for my life and for others have been only hopes, dreams and desires and not realities. I'm scared that I'm going to become a realtor and not a minister. (not that they have to be exclusive). I'm scared of losing my identity and I'm scared that when the opportunity that God places before me appears, I'll miss it because I didn't recognize it or didn't jump fast enough. I, by no means, feel like I have failed in the past, but I don't want to fail in the present and the future. There's just too much at stake. There are opportunities all around me at this point in my life, but discovering the right one may just tale a little more time. And the truth is I'm getting tired of waiting. Well, these are just some late night rambles and maybe I'll feel different in the morning, but if you spent the time reading this post, then, if you wouldn't mind, spend a couple of minutes praying that God will soon show us the next step in this great big wonderful journey that He has us on. I'd really appreciate it! Blessings.
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5 comments:
Hey Scott
I get the feeling I'm the other thirty something that you've referred to who hasn't figured it out. Here's something that has helped me to reduce the stress of "getting it right" (the following God's will thing - I borrowed this from Frank Viola):
If you view God's will as a switching station on a railroad track then you're life will be full of stress. Switch to the wrong track and you're messed up! (at least for a good while).
But what if God's will was more like a parking lot? There are clear boundaries in a parking lot. There are lines with clearly marked spaces. And there are often cars already occupying these spaces. What if following God's will was simply a matter of staying in the parking lot and choosing an empty space God has provided?
I think there are times when the train track analogy applies to God's will. If you truly seek God and there's no answer, maybe He's put you in a parking lot. Choose a space and He's OK with it!
http://sites.silaspartners.com/CC/article/0,,PTID14258%7CCHID242182%7CCIID2049588,00.html
:?)
offline response coming this weekend. stay close to your phone.
Todd is going through similar issues...same age and not sure where God wants him, other than on the mission field...but OU and Seminary have put that on a big hold...
While I was praying for you, as you asked, a statement came into my prayer...just when you think you're at the end of your road not knowing where to go, you realize that you are not at the end of the road, you're still in God's hands.
From our search for what God would have for us as a family, I learned that I need to search for God more than I'm searching for what I want from God.
Michelle
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