This is the second post for me today, but I wanted to address a concept that I have been writing and talking about for some time now and it has come up in a recent discussion that I'm having with some friends. I thought that the rest of you might want to hear this as well.
Over the past 17 years of being involved in youth ministry (yeah, I'm old) I have watched, literally hundreds of teenagers graduate from the ministries that I have been involved with. It is from this experience and from watching many fellow youth leaders and their groups that I am writing this from. It's the concept that many children and youth are presented the Gospel of Christ one way then when they get to a certain age that experience or understanding of God/Christ seems to be no longer valid. I will specifically speak from the youth pastor's position to help clarify myself here. As a youth leader, we would offer a fun place for teenagers to come, hang out, participate in activities, hear the Gospel and have opportunites to follow Christ. We would have outings (bowling, canoeing, miniature golf, etc.) we would have games, ie. Wednesday nights, we would participate in summer camps, weekend retreats, and mission trips. It was in this "ministry" that many teenagers came to a better understanding of who God is and what He expects from us as people. There were great strides made in their journeys toward God. They lived, experienced and understood God in a specific way that was very much tied to how they had come to Him.
Then it happens, they graduate. They head off to school, work or whatever and they begin trying to intergrate themselves into "adult" church and it is nothing like what they know God to be. While they were in the youth group they would worship with the adults during Sunday mornings, but received most of their spiritual food from the youth groups time of worship, lessons, etc. Thus, now that rug has been pulled from their feet and they are left with only what the adult church offers for spiritual growth. The problem is that the adult church is often void of many of the things that drew them to Christ in the first place. It often lacks excitement, fun, music they grew up on, camps, mission trips, miniature golf and a slew of other things. Their options now are much more limited in that they can join a small group discussion, go to Wednesday night prayer service, or stay for a potluck on some Sunday afternoon. They soon discover that what they thought God life was, fun, exciting, life relevant, deep, connecting, etc. is not the god life that many of the adults are living. Instead he's dull, boring and something they do once or twice a week. The result is obvious and well documented that a vast majority of these teenagers/young adults leave the church and never return, or if they do return it's because they now have children and want them in church to enjoy some of the same things they enjoyed when they were young, or they are looking for a safe place for them to grow up. In any case, the now young adult/parent is now stuck in a pew living out the life that he/she left the church for in the first place.
Now, some obvious questions: 1)Am I advocating that church ministries such as the children's and youth, should not entertain in order to bring them into the church?
No! In fact, I'm advocating almost the opposite. Not only should the children's and youth ministries entertain to draw people, but so should the adult ministries of the church. They should create opportunities for the parents and the kids to be involved in. It should be exciting, it should be fun, it should be something that they would not even have to think about telling a friend about. Rather it should be, "hey, we're doing something this week and you ought to join us", or "let me tell you about what we did this weekend".
2) Am I saying we should not do summer camps, retreats, mission projects, small group discipleship etc.? No! Instead we ought to be offering the same things to the adults that are more "user-friendly" to who they are. (parents, workers, coaches etc). In all the years of my professional ministry the only adult mission trips offered were ones that went over seas (including Hawii) and cost thousands of dollars and were not designed for them to bring their kids if they wanted to or had any. I've only seen two retreats one for a church board (not their spouses or kids) and the other was for only the women in the church. I've seen the senior adults and the singles do a few outings in their groups respectively. Other than that, mostly I've seen the church's main thrust for fellowship was some sort of dinner (potluck) after church.
3) Am I saying that "adult" church should change their style of worship to entertain those in attendance? No, but what I am saying is that "adult" church would look different if it included those of younger generations in the decision processes and implementaion of worship experiences in those services. In doing so, the children and youth would then have a better "transition" into adult church since it would resemble more of who they already are. In reality, they wouldn't even have to transition since they would already be a part of it.
4) Am I advocating experience over history, tradition, ritual or even discipleship? No, instead those things should be embraced and, dare I say it, experienced. Instead of routine or monotony there should be awe, wonder, excitement, intrigue and desire for more of what God wants for us in and through those instruments.
So, what do we do with this? Over these years, I would simply estimate (guestimate) that about 30% of those involved in my ministry or involved in ministries that I know of, stayed active in church life after their graduation. Who's to blame? I believe a part of it is me, part of it them, part of it their family and part of it the church. Could I have done a better job leading them and discipling them ? I'm certain of it. But, what would that have looked like if the whole local church structure would have lent itself to a more "family-friendly" discipleship experience? If the churches would have active ministries for all that were designed to enhance and include the family throughout their spiritual life growth process then their transition into adulthood and it's spiritual practices and experiences would be more of a maturing process than a total lifestyle change. My suggestion would be that as we find creative ways to reach out to the youth/children of our communities that we also find creative ways to reach their family units as well. It's been well documented that the likelihood of a person in pursuing their faith into and beyond their teenage years is directly related to the amount of spiritual involvement their parents have. I believe it's our responsibility to attempt to try and recapture our historical roots of making our faith communities truly communities again where individuals are valued as integral parts of the body of Christ rather than segmented individuals.
Well, that's enough for now. I'm sure I've created a ton more questions than what I answered, but it's a good start.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
Thanks, Scott, for your clarifying of the issue.
I would certianly agree there is a disparity that has marked the "realities" our generation and their most recent forefathers.
As one who finds myself often torn between my deep appreciation and identification of Christian tradition and my desire to proclaim the gospel by all means necessary, perhaps our role in this day is to rebridge that gap.
The question for me seems to be, how far can our medium go before the message is destroyed? We can cite crazy Paul, who was "all things to all people," but he still was crazy Paul.
Perhaps, "Adult" worship deserves a carefull reexamination, particularly in light of a reemerging interest in our understanding of church and sacraments.
I definitely appreciate the discussion! jfr.
Lets get back to family camps!!!!!
Hi back...
I also agree very much with what you are saying. Its a tough place to be, living a life wishing you had the "faith" you did in highschool. Most of the time that desire stems from the lack of community involvement in our lives now. I remember what kept me coming back to youth group (outside of your preaching of course) was the fact that my friends were there. Thats who I hung out with on friday nights, went to the movies with, stayed the night at their houses. Those people were my life. I only wish that I had the maturity to see the importance and opportunity to invite people who weren't church goers into that group. The opportunity to watch people live in authentic christian community is what first made God real to me. It would be awesome if the church could recapture that as an element of our lives; instead of trying to fit church into our life, allowing Church to once again become our life. Giving others the opportunity to see God work within the lives of His people.
Howdy doody scottertoody
Hmmm... what to say...I only seem to get myself in trouble on blogs these days... :)
I, as usual, come with a little bit different perspective and experience. I am now involved in my third church (and state) since college. As you may know, none of these have been nazarene nor look or sound like it. However, all three have had AMAZINGLY strong 20 something groups. Looking back on all three, there are some obviously common characteristics that they share.
#1. A desperate attatchment to 1 on 1 discipleship. I know there are many different modes of discipling and many differing opinions. However, looking at Jesus or any other Biblical leader, one on one interaction was the only thing we see that created lasting fruit. The same can quickly be proven today. Scott, I would be interested to hear how many of "your" previous youth that are strong today had quality 1 on 1 relationship with you while under your ministry. I would guess almost %100 did, including myself. The challenge is that you (not Scott) can only lead someone as far as you have gone. If you aren't in the Word daily, don't know how to pray for hours at a time, aren't continually familiar with the voice of God, and haven't known the power of God, then your produce will most likely end up lacking vital nutrients. So I would say first things first; let's get to know our God in an intimate and powerful way before trying to get others to. I know that sounds obvious, but I see it as possibly the most overlooked need in our churches. Our leaders don't know our God and we don't even realize it. If we aren't walking in power, we can't birth others in power.
#2. All three churches, at the post highschool level, have a strong emphasis on corporately seeking the Lord. In Kansas, among other things, it was early morning corporate prayer a few times a week. In Oregon it was an incredibly strong and intense small group model and a structured discipleship program in the local church. In California it is a similar structure as Oregon, with the added friday night presenting the Gospel on the streets and returning for worship and prayer until 3 a.m. Among other things, it is a strong distaste for the "seeker sensitive" approach and a strong pursuit for the manifest presence of God. A real encounter with a real God is way more appealing to our generation than a funny skit and good sound technology. It also ups the quality of new believers and disciples as we find the realness of who God is. Sadly, programs and "seeker sensitivity" were at some point given greater respect than corporately finding the heart of God; the church has been wounded ever since.
#3. There is a high expectation and accoutability that the basics are maintained. Daily time in the Word and prayer are a no-brainer must. If you aren't doing well with those, then we would rarely go further in spiritual discussion or problem solving until those things were corrected. The other high expectation is in being discipled one on one. The question is not so much IF you are being mentored, but WHO you are being mentored by. What I mean is that it is almost a given that as a serious pursuer of God you will be seeking weekly wisdom from someone who knows well the things of God. Any ministry without the above standards will quickly see its peek in faith, disciples, and real encounters with God. It's so simple, it's difficult. But that's only because we keep letting it be. Daily Word time stopped being difficult the moment it became the expected norm of the believers I was running with.
As I see these things maintained responsibly, the rest seems to take care of itself as far as bridging the generations and getting involvement, etc. Obviously it's not that easy. I'll stop there.
hey scott,I really agree with a lot of what you had to say. In a sense, I am living that transition right now. Luckily I am surrounded by many who are in the same place, and my university and involvement have enabled me to have a smooth transition..but that doesnt say its easy. I hear so often from people at school that they no longer like their church when they go home, "because its boring" or "I cant stand singing hymns". I actually JUST came out of a conversation about that with one of my apartment mates.
much love,
nate o.
Scott, during the year, you have access to kids for approximately 156 hours. Schools have access to kids for about 1300 hours per year. The level of influence that the church has is incredibly minute comparatively. What the church must do is begin to understand its role (and this is where Jeremy's example of one on one disciplemaking takes place earlier evan than the 20s) as a model of the Holy Trinity and the family as a model of the church. It is in the facing in, moving out relationship within the Trinity that the church learns its identity. When the family models the church, facing in and moving out, it understands its identity as well.
While I do not have direct influence on kids for more than 156 hours a year, their parents can be trained, discipled, etc. to be that mentor, disciplemaker, etc. in their kid's lives. Parents have the most amazing response-ability to model Manger/Calvary/Empty Tomb to their children. The responsibility does not solely rest on us. Children must have that model more than three hours a week. There are churches that have been built on this principle of true family ministry and are quite successful at it.
What does it look like? Families worshiping together, sharing stories of each other's faith (testimonies). It looks like parents helping children know that their story of faith is just as important as Jedidiah's (he's that old guy that always complains about how we don't sing hymns anymore, but he's never told anyone what those hymns mean to him). It looks like parents talking through tough issues with kids after seeing a TV show, movie, whatever. It looks like parents serving along side of their children, doing things that very clearly communicate and model the compassion of the Christ of Our Lord. It looks like parents praying with and for their children unceasingly.
Will these very practical things keep children in the church even after they (instantly and magically, somehow) become adults at the age of eighteen? No. Thank God, he gave us a will of our own. Children will still choose whom they will serve. By my estimation, that's wonderful. They should choose for themselves. As much as I serve the God of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and Ed Abla, I still serve my God. Children will still choose to serve the lord of the kingdom of this world. It still happens because God has created this freedom in his children.
evan
Post a Comment